how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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