please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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