wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
