im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
