what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
