it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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