then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
