Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
