my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Tornado booty call.. dedication
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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