real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize