just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
