Plan B is the new Plan A
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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