I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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