Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
