The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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