I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
