the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
