Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
