just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
