Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
