Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
