Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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