did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
