whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
