it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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