he puts the penis in happiness.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
