I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize