did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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