You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
