you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
