The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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