And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
