My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize