thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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