I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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