I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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