Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
