I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize