You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
