somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
