So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize