The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I wish you could order shots online.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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