I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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