Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
