At least make sure they are 18
Why
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
