I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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