YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
