Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
