My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
