You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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