I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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