none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
