sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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