i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
