5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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