Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
