in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
