tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
