In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
