what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize