Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
