After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
